I think my only resolution for the upcoming year, will be to do better, In all aspects of life. I feel as if I was distracted too much this year. Focusing on the wrong things in life, and just allowing myself to constantly lose focus, then needing to motivate myself once again.
Having to come to terms that I wasn’t going to be the big happy family, etc with my daughters dad, definitely took a toll. Depression, weight gain, partying too hard, etc. Then I started moving on, dating/fucking, trying to replace the family I wanted, and love I thought I needed. Not everyone on this journey was trash, definitely met some good guys along the way .. unfortunately I don’t think LOVE is my journey at this time.
I thank god, my daughter never noticed nor did it affect her, but never will I get this distracted and weak again. Today, I took a breathe and realized, yeah love with an amazing human being would be great, but really the only love I need right now, I have. Sometimes I want a relationship and love, but all the time I want to be a great mom. And to do that, that means I need to do better.
That means I need to stay consistent and focused with my diet and journey on being healthier and bomb lol . That means no sex 😫🤷🏾♀️ , and no dating until I am completely comfortable in myself as a woman. That means staying focused on my career, giving it my all, until money isn’t an issue. Giving my daughter a better life than I had, providing her with the best opportunities. I want to go to sleep every night, knowing I gave that day 110% .
I refuse to let another year go by, where I didn’t accomplish all that I had put forth in the universe. Simply put, in 2020 I NEED TO DO BETTER!